Resistance is Good for You

Anyone who has ever joined a gym or worked with a personal trainer knows that resistance training is good for you physically.  I vaguely remember being told that it strengthens bones and builds muscles.


Resistance training is also good for you emotionally.  And spiritually.


That may be a shock to some who have been raised under the dictum to always obey the greater authority of parents, schools, churches, government, etc.


As children our natural resistance to being over controlled was negatively criticized as being rebellious and belligerent.  More recently, kids who resist are getting labelled and medicated for having oppositional defiant disorder.


That sounds pretty serious --  until you know that what it really means is successfully resisting the will of adults in charge that children and teenagers behave in ways that don't bother the grown ups.


Medicating people so that they will not resist the power of those in charge ---hmmm, didn't that used to be just science fiction?


What that value of doing what we're told without question -- of not resisting the will of those more powerful than us -- teaches is what Seligman and Maier called learned helplessness -- a more common cause than we've heard about for depression, passivity and passive aggression, hostility turned inward on oneself, eating disorders, feeling worthless, lacking confidence, being unable to take necessary risks for success, not speaking out in your own defense or reporting abuse, and more -- much of which can lead to thoughts and threats of suicide.


Spiritually, not resisting when we should creates hopelessness, spiritual materialism and spiritual blackmail, mindlessness, lack of empathy, loss of trust, loss of true faith in the possibilities that abound, addiction to religiosities that extol suffering and promise a better life after death.  


Of course there are wise ways to resist, and downright dangerous, stupid, and ineffective ways. I'll write about those next.


Creative Alternatives Coaching Suggestion:


For today, I want to encourage you to just think about what is going on in your life that you don't resist.  Make a list if that helps you see the patterns more easily.  And see if you can recognize how not resisting has contributed to an emotional, relational, financial or spiritual issue that has been bothering you.  


Finding the right things to resist, and the right moments to resist is key.  Identify those now.