2011's Karmic Tests ~ What Failed, What Passed

New Year's resolutions are something of a prescription for disappointment and failure, it's always seemed to me.  Very few people really sustain a new exercise program or diet, watch TV less / read more, do their taxes early, or make amends where they should. There's lots of built up inertia or strong habits to break for those resolutions to be kept.


Nonetheless, some things have been strengthened or weakened in good ways, other things have suffered loss, destruction, and ending.  It's all good, as I look back through the lens of karmic tests.


Perhaps you took some of these same "life exams"?


The Rising Above Petty Annoyances Test ~~ From the mold growing on my aluminum deck railing (who knew that could happen?!), to the ants getting into the bathroom through cracks in the caulking, to my phone line having a perpetual echo and my internet taking too many unannounced vacations, to a new space heater tripping the circuit breakers when competing with the microwave, I'd say I will likely need to retake this test, given that I probably exceeded the number of allowed hissy fits during the exam to earn a grade of Achieved Competency.  C-


The Transition to Gluten-Free Foods Test ~~ Even though I resisted this test for half the year, once I finally committed to taking it, it turned out to be easier than I thought.  Still missing a really juicy burger held together by a decent wheat bun, but oh well, I now can make garlic cheese bread with Udi's wheat / soy / dairy free whole grain.  B+


The Letting Go of Dying Relationship Test ~~ This was a multi part exam that actually started 3.5 years ago or so (but who's counting, right?).  You know when there's that person in your life who just isn't in the relationship in the same way you are, and for the sake of whatever had been meaningful you keep trying to fix what's wrong, bending yourself into an unhappy  pretzel, until you clearly see the unfairness of never getting any of your own needs met?  Yeah, that test takes a really long time.  And you grieve the ending you know is coming way before it does.  This year was the final page of that test for me, and I believe I got an A+ for finally letting go and moving on.


The  Keeping Faith in the Face of Continual Obstacles Test ~~ The economy that we're avoiding calling a depression  was challenging this year, throwing more roadblocks up for some of my regular clients, but motivating others and myself, too.  This test was highly experiential, no cramming for it was possible, you just had to respond in the moment with intuition and confidence.  I feel good about my responses.  A


The Handling Others' Acting Out with Empowered Grace Test ~~ Whether it's the screaming toddler in the bad feng shui grocery store setting my teeth on edge, or the relative with borderline personality disorder injecting chaos into my preferred solitude, or the so-called professionals who engaged in cyber stalking and flame wars, I'm proud of the ability to speak up when I should have, grateful for the ability to hold my tongue when it was wise to, and pleased with the ability to keep my boundaries and my dignity when feeling energetically, emotionally, or personally attacked.   A++


The Re-Valuing of My True Self Test ~~ Most of the previous exams apparently were pre-reqs for this one.  I haven't finished yet, I'm just on a break.  I think I missed Questions 4 and 33, and 61 is a killer.  Incomplete


The Survival of the End of Harry Potter Test ~~ This may have been the most difficult exam of all.  Having one's magical world just come to halt, as if the Hogwarts Express ran out of steam before reaching platform 9 and 3/4 is heart-wrenchingly disorienting.  Thank goddess for Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series -- of which I found a new book has been released earlier this month!  My fantasy life is comforted with Companions, Hawkbrothers and Healer-Mages.  B-

How about you?  What karmic tests were you given this year, and how'd ya do?

In Prizing Going with the Flow, Are You a Self-Commitment Flake?

My last 3 holiday weekends this year have been planned and re-planned, adjusted and modified.  Today I realized just how much I have flaked out on manifesting my preferred holiday observances because of this process.


And these haven't even been big plans like taking a holiday trip, attending a gathering of relatives, or making a contribution of time and effort as a volunteer to some local worthy cause.  Nope, I've simply envisioned seeing a Christmas day movie, or having certain foods on the Thanksgiving table, and so on.


Things have just come up, I've given in, and the days have gone by pretty much like every other day.  I mean, hey, I'm here blogging and checking Facebook and email, and forums, just like any other day.


Now really, I don't care that much about holidays. Clearly I'm quite willing to go with the flow.


But my realization points to just how much I tend to overdo going with the flow in other parts of my life.  And while that used to be considered a good thing, I see today that it's truly an act of flaking out on commitments to myself.


So I'm deciding to make it a New Year's resolution to at least be more mindful of how I'm not keeping commitments to myself -- even on the small stuff -- because flaking out is a bad habit, and as a business owner,  or even as generally happy soul, not keeping commitments to myself is a road to ruin.


And I'm determined to be more diligent with my self-accountability in 2012.  I'll let you know how it goes.


How about you?  What are you flowing with that is taking you places that you don't want to be?  What have you envisioned for yourself that you keep postponing, or giving up entirely, and what's the price for that in happiness or success or peace of mind?


What will you re-commit yourself to in the New Year?

3 Ways to Connect with Your InnerSpirit

At times like busy holidays, when the world is crazy with activities, it can be difficult to stay grounded and centered in a sense of peace.  Perhaps one of these three ways to find and connect with your inner sense of the sacred self will work for you.

1.  Embracing Breath -- close your eyes, take a long slow deep breath in and hold it for a second, and exhale very slowly while feeling yourself sink into an embrace of calm clarity.

2.  Drink of Nature -- take a 10 minute mini mental vacation by taking mind and body into a vision or a reality of the natural world. Stop at a park when you're out, sit with the trees, watch the birds, attune your energy to the vibrancy of Mother Earth.


3.  Ask & Listen --  through prayer, meditation, tarot cards, or some other device, let your mind focus on growthful questions such as:  what random act of kindness can I do today, what would bring me real joy right now, how can I give my most compassionate self to those I love?