Wise Ways to Resist

Taking a cue again from the physical realm where resistance training strengthens muscles, I want to talk today about another type of muscle building that's good for us -- the muscles of creative perception and curiosity.

Do you think of yourself as creative? No?  Why not?

If you're like I used to be, you might be too narrowly defining what "creativity" is.  Maybe you think it's the ability to paint like Parrish, or hold movie-goers spellbound like Spielberg, or write like Rowling.  

These individuals are blessed with talent, yes.  But they also have worked at developing creative perception by exercising a curiosity-based approach to their work.

In some way, consciously or unconsciously, they ask:  What would happen if.......

Asking what would happen if...... is a wise way to begin to resist the mental ruts and emotional traps of assumptions, preconceived expectations, and the other ways we talk ourselves out of seeing the abundance of possibilities in front of us, and the options we have for changing our viewpoint and our life.

Resisting mindless habits, resisting boring or dysfunctional sameness, is good for keeping your mind sharp and your emotions in balance.  Creative alternatives open up when we shift perspective, and begin to see things differently, and try new things.  Creativity itself is all about playing with difference.

Asking what would happen if.... is also a respectfully assertive way to challenge someone else's opinion that things must be a certain way, that their rules or beliefs must be followed without question.  When done with positive curiosity (as opposed to judgmental criticism), it can make good changes in stale relationships, and open the possibility of shifting an imbalance of power.

What I hope you're seeing here is that creativity is as much or more about process as it is about end product. And the magic of the creative process is in how you perceive and where you stand to perceive and how you explore curiosity in interpreting your perceptions.

And all of that is a big exercise in resistance to stuckness.

So, my coaching question for you today is what would happen to your assumption that you aren't creative, if you acted as if you are?  What mental habit or emotional reactivity can you resist today by applying a little creative curiosity?

While you think about that question, here's a little Streisand to provoke new possibilities.

  

Resistance is Good for You

Anyone who has ever joined a gym or worked with a personal trainer knows that resistance training is good for you physically.  I vaguely remember being told that it strengthens bones and builds muscles.


Resistance training is also good for you emotionally.  And spiritually.


That may be a shock to some who have been raised under the dictum to always obey the greater authority of parents, schools, churches, government, etc.


As children our natural resistance to being over controlled was negatively criticized as being rebellious and belligerent.  More recently, kids who resist are getting labelled and medicated for having oppositional defiant disorder.


That sounds pretty serious --  until you know that what it really means is successfully resisting the will of adults in charge that children and teenagers behave in ways that don't bother the grown ups.


Medicating people so that they will not resist the power of those in charge ---hmmm, didn't that used to be just science fiction?


What that value of doing what we're told without question -- of not resisting the will of those more powerful than us -- teaches is what Seligman and Maier called learned helplessness -- a more common cause than we've heard about for depression, passivity and passive aggression, hostility turned inward on oneself, eating disorders, feeling worthless, lacking confidence, being unable to take necessary risks for success, not speaking out in your own defense or reporting abuse, and more -- much of which can lead to thoughts and threats of suicide.


Spiritually, not resisting when we should creates hopelessness, spiritual materialism and spiritual blackmail, mindlessness, lack of empathy, loss of trust, loss of true faith in the possibilities that abound, addiction to religiosities that extol suffering and promise a better life after death.  


Of course there are wise ways to resist, and downright dangerous, stupid, and ineffective ways. I'll write about those next.


Creative Alternatives Coaching Suggestion:


For today, I want to encourage you to just think about what is going on in your life that you don't resist.  Make a list if that helps you see the patterns more easily.  And see if you can recognize how not resisting has contributed to an emotional, relational, financial or spiritual issue that has been bothering you.  


Finding the right things to resist, and the right moments to resist is key.  Identify those now.